MY COUSIN VINNY: A MEAL FROM VINCENT

In memory of my 24 yr old cousin, Vincent DeAngelo.


Although years and distance kept us a part for much of our adolescent youth, Vinny has left an imprint on me that I think about every single day of my life. We were very close in age which is a realization that hits very close to home. After his passing, I read every comment people wrote on his Facebook Page, I looked through every picture I had from when we were small... there is a light in his smile that can change any ones bad day. He was a hero all the way through. People just gravitated to him and had every reason to. 


I remember the very last time our entire family reunited for a day of debauchery. I will remember it always. We went to Atlantic City, started the day off just right, Harrah's Pool for some day drinking...(We are no strangers to some day time shots) We just did nothing but laugh all day with each other. The dynamic of us revolves around fun and love, and strength, and hope. I wish that day lasted forever. It was way too short. In my heart, I didn't believe that would be the last day I would ever get to spend with him. He was so happy and we were all so happy. I would have held on longer, a little tighter, and never let the party end. 

There are things in life that are not fair. Things we cannot control. We look for reasons to blame everything we can in order to make sense of it. We choose to move forward and take all the love he left us and turn it into something special. 


Cathy DeAngelo, has begun "A Meal From Vincent". Through this foundation, she not only keeps the memory of her son alive, but she carries out a plan to brighten up someones day in his honor. He was that kind of a person. There was no ray of light to dim. Light is light. That is the beauty of this program. It seems like such a small gesture, but you have no idea the lasting effects of making someone smile. Please read below as she tells the legacy he will be. 

"As a lot of you know Vincent lost his 3 year battle with leukemia on April 13, 2012. He fought this battle long and hard. He was very brave and he was my hero.He had a stem cell transplant at Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, Florida and went through a clinical trial at MD Anderson Hospital in Texas.He spent most of his battle at Memorial West Hospital in Pembroke Pines, Florida. This truly was his "home away from home". 


The oncology staff, nurses and doctors took such great care of him making him feel like he was their family. I can never thank them enough for this.He spent days, weeks, and months inside hospitals and always had a wonderful attitude. But my son had one complaint, Hospital Food. It's hard to eat hospital food day after day. Whenever he was having a bad day or didn't like anything on the menu or just needed a treat, I would go to get food from any of the outside food places near the hospital. 


I was fortunate that I could provide this for him. Just the smell of the outside food would put a smile on his face and for a brief time he would forget that he was in the hospital and he would enjoy his meal.Unfortunately being treated for cancer puts a difficult financial strain on many patients. Most of them can't work and have many bills to pay and simply cannot afford to to get a meal from outside.

In Vincent's memory I would like to donate as many food gift cards to these cancer patients and I want them to get a treat away from hospital food. I know in my heart that Vincent would want us to do this. It will be called "A Meal From Vincent"


Please View and SHARE <3 


http://www.facebook.com/groups/297513897045436/?fref=ts

Girl Rising

A different direction than my normal posts, this comes from a very special place...

I had the privilege to attend a viewing of a very important documentary entitled, Girl Rising by Academy Award Winning director, Richard Robbins. It has not yet been released worldwide and shockingly enough despite the film's number of Hollywood narrators and star power, it does not seem to have much notoriety behind it.

Girl Rising is a groundbreaking peak into the stories of nine girls (innocent children) from all around the world who have changed their life and the lives of those around them contrary to their upbringings of slavery, trafficking, (marrying girls off as young as the age of 7, just to ensure they have a chance...Can you process that for a second...) and other heartbreaking injustices that women around the world face.

I left the theater feeling blessed, feeling empowered, and yet still envious of these women and their stories. Envious???? That certainly doesn't seem like a normal feeling or the proper word to use after watching what they have been through. I chose that word because they have been through hardships I could never even begin to understand and regardless were still filled with astronomical amounts of strength, hope, and compelling voices that will not be silenced.  How can there possibly be no admiration there? It really got me thinking...

To the point that I am able to write my silly, little blog, and spend a life where I will never know what it is like to be truly silenced. Not only because that goes beyond anything I am capable of, but also because no one has ever forced silence upon me. I grew up in an Italian family for crying out loud, and with parents who are native New Yorkers. No one in my family knows silence, male or female. I grew up where females seem to know a little less silence as a matter of fact.

I can't even imagine the reality of that world no matter how many glimpses cinema can give. Some may feel this doesn't effect them or concern them. It is a cultural difference or just how their economy is structured. Period. But I ask anyone who believes in equality and education to give this film an opportunity to spark something within.

Men, if you think this is mindless or simply a "women's issue", I ask you to look at your mother, sister, or daughter, and imagine them being born into a life mirroring the ones portrayed. This cannot just be a women's issue. Things happen in our own country and we blissfully plead ignorance. We need voices! We need people to care about people again! Every person you reach is a stepping stone for a better opportunity and future.

"When girls go to school and get an education, they stay healthy. They save money. They speak up. They build businesses. Then they pass it all on...and poverty declines. Challenges become opportunities; progress happen." - Richard Robbins, the Girl Rising Director

For more information:
Check Out- Girlrising.com and Get with the 10x10 Girls' Education Fund!

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies that Look like Chocolate Chip Cookies are the Reason I Have Trust Issues

Well, the post title says it all. We have all been there. Such a metaphor for life when you think about it. Something or someone that appears one way until we take a closer look or even worse take a bite and try it for ourselves. I am sorry but that is some deep shizz. How does one bounce back from this hurt, but to except it and chalk it up as a life lesson.

From now on stare at the cookie, analyze the cookie, before just going ahead and eating it. It seems a little intense, but for the sake of the argument, it will save you a lot of trouble and unnecessary disappointment if we all make sure we know the difference between a raisin and a gooey, delicious, chocolate morsel. We now enter every bake sale with a little more caution knowing the deception that lives inside the Oatmeal Raisin Cookie.

ENTER TRUST ISSUES...

Ode to the Work Boyfriend

Few may know what a "Work Boyfriend" is, however, ladies if you have one of these count yourself lucky. "Work Boyfriends" are the absolute bees knees. It is the guy usually one cubical over that for some reason beyond your understanding you can talk to about anything and laugh all day. He will always have your back when the boss is being a pain and he will not judge you when he asks how your weekend was and you begin to tell him all about how you drunkenly stole a loaf of bread from a vendor in NYC, singing Street Rat from Aladdin. He somehow finds it endearing... and itt somehow works both ways.

Why does it not turn into a romantic relationship you ask? Well for starters, we all know not to dip the pen in the company ink, we have to save it up for the not so sharp pencil that works 3 Floors below and 2 office suites over (Because that is always a good life choice and works out well...) Also, it never turns romantic because I mean, did you not catch on to the reference above...I stole a loaf of bread and ran down the street singing a song from Aladdin for crying out loud, and not even a popular song from the movie for that matter! 

It is an affectionate term for the guy friend we get to share everyday with. If you are single, your girlfriends insist someone has a crush, and if you are in a relationship, your boyfriend is probably sick of hearing his name and secretly hopes he gets the boot. Either way, they are so much fun to play with! I took my "Work Boyfriend" to the next level of commitment...He is now my "Work Baby Daddy". We share a stapler.

Eat, Pray, Love, HUh?

I wonder what it is about breakups that make everyone want to Eat, Pray, Love. I find it fascinating, I really do. Before the book was written and Julia Roberts got that 10 million dollar pay out to eat endless amounts of pizza...excuse me, fine, Italian cuisine, we all have thought about this after getting the big S word...Screwed, I don't mean it literally...This is all figurative.

You will notice I pay homage to Julia frequently ( My love for Diane Keaton, Michelle Pheiffer, and Jane Fonda will come into play soon, just wait it out. ) Anyone that can breakout as a prostitute, fly into the role of Tinker Bell, be a complete trailblazer in Erin Brockie, and then (SPOILER ALERT) still loose the guy at the end of My Best Friends Wedding, I mean I just have mad respect.

Anyway, back to the point at hand. The sudden urge to change my hair, maybe add some layers, or perhaps finally do that dramatic bob I always cut out of magazines but never quite have the balls to do, tells me it is now or never. Maybe it is defiance, or going against what is expected because life has served you just that, or maybe you just figure change is in the air, so you might as well go full throttle. Maybe it is a little bit of both...as Forest Gump once stated.

I just find it so interesting that we feel a vacation could suddenly bring us back to life and even more interesting that in most cases it does! It is just the medicine. We may not do it how Jewels does or Jason Segel for that matter. You probably won't get to go up a dress size like she, ( usually just the opposite, hit that CKO bag hunny, you're single again!) and still fall in love, but you do come to the realization that there is so much more that you haven't seen. So much unexpected beauty, and so much more room to find something else that makes you happy. The moment hits: You had a life before him and you will have a life after him!

The new hair though, I'm not quite sure what that inspires yet. I'm still figuring it out before I decide my next color and process. Maybe ombre, he always hated the ombre...Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with that.

Oh, I think I just figured it out! LOL

The Most Fabulous Girl in the World...

Behind Every Interesting Man, is a Fabulous Woman!

If you think the Dos Equis Man has stories, you have no idea what secret a lady can bring to the table.

He simply sticks to beer, so my adventures have been way more Fabulous as I sip my Skinny Girl Cocktails, and get myself in one debacle after another! 
But this  isn't about that, a girl's still has got to keep some mystery alive<3

Instead here is my campaign that I am dedicating to all my ladies...
When you wake up in the morning, I want you to remember just how FABULOUS you are. 

I am the Most Fabulous Girl in the World…

I may gain 40 pounds during pregnancy but I will loose 50 at the birth.

When I get my bangs cut to short, they automatically grow back out of respect.

I do not go to the bathroom in large groups.

When I break wind, it smells like lavender.

My car runs on coffee beans.

Guys do not wait 3 days to call me.

My boss does all my work for me so I can just relax. 

While kickboxing, the punching bag gets out of the way.

Regina George is scared of me.

Victoria Secret Models ask me for weight loss tips.

         When I sing Karaoke, large groups of animals gravitate towards me.

The first time Usher saw saw me, he wrote the lyrics to O.M.G.

When I arrive late to a party that means it is when it starts.

I am the most fabulous girl in the world.

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving- It's Coming For You

You drunk dial less frequently the more time passes.

You start noticing bathroom tiles, and what the kitchen counter is made of at other people's homes.

You physically get just as sore from a night of drinking as you did on Wed./Leg Day.

You had no idea Selena Gomez was from Disney.

You refuse to date the guy at the bar with a backwards snapback because that phase of your life is over.

You decide to get rid of your George Forman Grille and really learn to cook with flavor.

Perhaps you dress a little more provocative because you realize you do not have much time left before it is inappropriate or embarrassing. ( This one may just pertain to me, but Oh Well, it's true, I can't be a wife and mother, and also own tribal pants. I have to prioritize. )

You look back on ex-boyfriends, the same ones who broke your heart and you thought changed your life forever, and laugh the exact same way you do at an old photo of yourself wearing a ridiculous outfit (possibly tribal pants) and think, "HAHA, what was I thinking???"

You gave up on the idea of ever wanting Bangs...

You start reading again for fun...like actual books, not just magazines.

Every time you watch CNN or any pressing issue in the news, you think F***CKKK, this actually effects me. I actually care. ( It helps if you read this one in Aziz Ansari's voice, I find it enhances the point I am trying to make.)

When you see a little kid with a cell phone or ipad, you think, "Spoiled Pr*Ck."

You see your older sibling is now a parent and try to forget the fact that you once had to help them sneak into the house when they were drunk, hopping around the driveway as they wished they were the WB Frog."

#Relatable

Life's Balance of Love

One person cannot be your absolute everything. If you believe that you will be miserable for a long time. You need to be in love with the rest of your life as you are with them. Invest in those around you, who act as your community in affirming you everyday. Relationship balance is being as happy as you are in it, as you can be out of it.

Movies sounds nice, but they are not real. And this is coming from someone who seeks comfort in the predicable romantic comedy. However, "Find someone who loves you just as you are.- Bridget Jones." There is a danger in that. Yes, you should never change your core or beliefs but think about your family or your best friend, they test you and fight you everyday. They demand and encourage the best as you do them.

"Love means never having to say your sorry.- Love Story." I call BS. Everyone is wrong 50% of the time. Accept it. Get used to the fact that people can hurt each other even when they don't mean to. It doesn't mean there isn't love there of even that we are bad people ( For some D-bags, it does, you know who you are. ) Not when there wasn't intent behind it. Selfishness and inconsideration unfortunately happens sometimes when we are comfortable or take those for granted, even the ones we love most.  Compassion and empathy is the key. Seeing different perspectives and learning and growing. Try creating an awareness of why we behave or feel in certain ways. It will not only help you to realize and understand others and their actions but it is the first step to changing. Awareness leads to change. Never stop being aware.

Life and love can happen in the blink of an eye. Cliche, but it is true. Notice where you are in life right now and one day there will be a moment of clarity where it makes sense. I believe love comes in many different ways and at different times. I just don't want to ever loose focus on the fact that we all have it around us and it starts with making yourself a better person everyday.

Gender Rosetta Stone

Girl to her Best Friend: "So who is going to be there?"

Translates to: "Anyone new I haven't made out with already?"

Girl after a Breakup: "It's time for a change."

Translates to: " I need a haircut and a vacation and I swear to God if I do not Eat, Pray, Love, Julia Roberts is getting a beat down."

Girl about Another Girl: "She's cute."

Two Translations...

Translates to: "She isn't that cute but she is my friend and she is really smart and funny." orrrr it means, 

"Ewww, she is gross, but if I don't say this, they are gonna call me a hater again."

Girl to her friend when finding out she is going back to an Ex: "I'll be here to support you no matter what you decide."

Translates to: "Are you F-ing serious, I am writing an anonymous note to your mother. I know you are not this dumb!" 

Girl about a song: "Omg, I love this song!!!!!!"

Translates to: "I'm so super sloppy druuuuunk!" 

Girl on the Perfect Guy: "I want a guy who is ripped, chizzled, and manly. But also, has a sensitive side and cares about what I have to say."

Translates to: "Gay guys are so lucky."

Guy to Girl: "I don't like skinny girls, I like a girl with a little meat on her bones..."

Translates to: "You know your no sketator, you are borderline, so if we date, it ends here. NO CHEAT DAYS or CARB SUNDAYS."

Guys Say: " I like a girl who is low maintenance, natural, not a lot of makeup. "

Translates to: "I like girls that naturally look like a prosthectic doll...duh."

Guy to Guy Friend: "Ugh, this girl keeps blowing me up. She wants it."

Translates to: " I mean, I text her every single weekday, all day. But ya know when the weekend comes I like to throw her off with a little hard to get and make her think she is nuts."

Guy About a Friend that is a Girl: " No, no, it's not like that. She is awesome. Like one of my best friends. She can totally be one of the guys but she just so happens to be ridiculously hot too. I could never date her."

Translates to: "I am a moron."

Letter To Sandy: Jersey Strong...Never Quit Helping

Hurricane Sandy                                                      By: Jessica Schirripa

In a quest to make a list of the top ten most newsworthy stories of 2012, I found myself in the midst of undoubtedly the number one.
A piece of editorial that was meant to be pithy, quirky, and humorous, left my thoughts consumed with the complete opposite.

I have read horrible posts and status updates of people searching for humor and relief in the fact that the Jersey Shore has now been destroyed. Believe me I get it, the image we project, the reputation of our state..., but in all honesty, I have never in my lifetime seen or known more devastation and have felt more humbled and proud.

Say what you want about the Jersey Shore, I have probably said it myself in passing, but it is the heart and soul of New Jersey. We New Jerseyans know a place much different than you. A history like no other, filled with a culture that goes beyond an MTV reality show. It is home. It is family. It is art and alive with music and people that have changed the world. It has been the safe haven to millions seeking moments of beauty, laughter, and simplicity for their families.

I can’t imagine anyone being able to relate to this unless you have experienced the loss yourself. The same way the generation before us speaks of an era that no longer exists, we now have a chapter in our lives closed of iconic memories that we will never be able to recreate but we will always carry with us.

Yes, we will rebuild. Yes, we are strong.
And yes, I have seen a sense of community that I myself thought had been lost in politics, greed, and a selfish human nature.
Sometimes it takes this destruction to allow us to see all we have been doing wrong, and how we need to move forward and do right by each other.
True compassion for one another is now our new beginning.

People have experienced a detrimental loss of loved ones, businesses, homes, every sentimental belonging, memory, blood, sweat, and tear… the core of what makes a person who they are.
Gone.
A human is incapable of fully comprehending this loss, or even the thought that it could happen to them or to someone close enough to them for it to even make any sort of sense in their mind. After all, "we are invincible".

We have seen how weak we can actually be. We have seen our bottom, and the scary part was it did not take much at all. No power, no heat, no gas, no food, no light, no contacts, and we crumbled.

Now we see a strength buried within us that we never needed to exercise before.
The beauty lies in the fact that we did find the courage to be there for one another.
It was dormant inside of us all.
Behind our entertainment driven obsessions, status symbols, sports infatuations, political stand points, etc, what awoke inside us was an actual beating heart.
One pure moment of realization hit and our actual needs were back in focus and the true meanings became meaningful once again.
No matter what economic discrimination has been taking place in our country, whether it was your million dollar waterfront property that has been demolished, you now became no different than the average struggling family who lost everything as well.

Now we look to leadership to move forward. We look at the faces to the right and left of us, our neighbors, friends, and family, and we weep for our losses, but more importantly, we do what New Jersey does…We give a big f--- you! We come together in fear, anger, and love, and we fist pump life back into our garden state.

We will stay warm, warm with thoughts and prayers of those who reach out helping hands and keep us in their hearts. We will seek light, the light that will allow us to rebuild homes for our neighbors, and beautiful memories for our children to inherit one day.  And we will always be full. Full of love for our people, our history, and our culture.

JERSEY STRONG

I do not discredit or take away any of the tragedy that has been just as destructive to our beloved New Yorkers. We are the same. We feel the same heartache for those affected. We share the out pour of love and generosity and know that we will all bounce back with the same gusto and pride. <3

Dating Daylight Savings

Dating Daylight Savings

Daylight savings is defined as the practice of advancing clocks so that evenings have more daylight and mornings have less. Typically, clocks are adjusted forward one hour near the start of the spring and are adjusted backward in autumn. Scrrrreeeeeech…hold up…slam on the breaks, that is the politically correct term…

In actuality/the real world, daylight savings is the time of year where it begins…you know what I am talking about ladies. When the same old guys that you randomly talk to for periods at a time just to avoid lonely nights and an alcohol dependency, come out to play!

There is no justification to still keep contact with these individuals as it obviously has lead nowhere, but for some strange reason, we keep these guys on file, as emergency contacts if you will. Some you even speak to so often, you affectionately refer to them as “text message boyfriends”. Text message boyfriends are the bees knees, they fulfill those instant urges to tell someone about the twit with an “A” that gives you a hard time at your job, as if they care, and without any of the drama and commitment. If you want to get technical, I have been dating several individuals for many years already. Only problem is when someone asks if your seeing anyone, the only truthful response is “I’m kinda seeing everyone.”

Another problem with these nomads is their periodical visits in an out of your life. You can be speaking daily to someone and then, abra cadabra , Houdini’s disappearing act! I, like Miranda (SATC reference), pretend they died to save myself from emotional rejection and wracking my brain over an explanation that I will never get.

Months pass and BOOM! Summer is winding down, the air is cooling, and just like clock work, everyone is looking to cuddle. Cuddling…HA, to quote my best friend, “all fun and games till someone’s arm goes numb,” but that is another subject entirely. Anyway, daylight savings approaches the holiday season, so it all goes hand in hand. Now only two things can happen around the holidays, people get engaged/reaffirm their relationships, or the “poop or get off the pot” mentality kicks in and people need to decide whether or not they are saving money on a gift this year.

That is where “we” come back into the picture. An accidental bump in, or a “hot”, recently uploaded photo of yourself at the office holiday party, is potentially all it takes to remind them we exist again. Text message pop ins, an email chat, even a “like” on Facebook, are sure tell signs that a dude is recently single and ready to mingle. Out of nowhere, emails, messages, phone is just straight blowing up, and now your too cold to even care. I don’t think Walt Disney knew about this daylight savings routine when plotting to teach us about the circle of life….Oh well, till Spring!

No Really, Why Are You Single?

Why/How are you single?

The awkward question that people always seem to ask singles… meant to be complimentary and one would think rhetorical, until the awkward pause comes. People really expect an answer. I usually give it to them with some form of sarcasm (which may play into why I actually am single).  As a single girl, this question, however it is meant, really burns my toast. Those words, with that inflection, implies that all good traits are only to be perceived as an attempt to attract a mate, but it also makes you reflect what is wrong within yourself  and you end up questioning why you have not yet been rewarded with love or companionship.

I despise the question.  It forces you to look for a negative focus, instead of embracing or commending someone for their character because they do not have someone to share it with. No matter what answer I come up with as a response, everyone’s belief still boils down to it being an excuse and wondering what my real “issue“ is. I invested a lot of time in my education, career, family, maintaining unbreakable bonds with many different friends and individuals, I have an amazingly fun social life, and it all seems to go out the window when someone relentlessly places value elsewhere.

I feel like every first date I have ever been on, it is not complete until the guy has asked me that question. As I stare blankly, it takes every fiber of my being to not bite back, “ Well…, how are you…? Are you secretly a douche? Riddle me that? ” Don’t worry, I don’t. Those are just my inner thought bubbles that I try and pop before my mouth opens. Sometimes I even do this awkward giggle in hopes to navigate around the question and change the subject immediately.

“Ummm, IDK, no one likes me???”
What about, plain and simple, I legit just don’t have the time. (And when I say that, I understand that I basically mean I just haven’t been captured by anyone enough to make time.) Between busy schedules, daily routines, the last thing I want to do is come home and primp myself up for dates or take more time out of my day to travel to go see someone. I want to come home, maybe go to the gym, cook myself dinner, and plop down for some quality time with my man, Andy Cohen. Ya’ll feel me?

Trust me, I date, and I am no bitter beaver about being single right now. I think it is perfect for where I am in my life and I know one day I will be in a different space ready to dive in full throttle…
So if you are feeling ballsy, next time someone asks you, “ Why are you single? ”, just ask them “ Why are you not enough for yourself? ” Then, immediately follow it up with…“OMG, I’m just kidding!” (because that is a pretty big wise-ass move).