Dating Daylight Savings

Dating Daylight Savings

Daylight savings is defined as the practice of advancing clocks so that evenings have more daylight and mornings have less. Typically, clocks are adjusted forward one hour near the start of the spring and are adjusted backward in autumn. Scrrrreeeeeech…hold up…slam on the breaks, that is the politically correct term…

In actuality/the real world, daylight savings is the time of year where it begins…you know what I am talking about ladies. When the same old guys that you randomly talk to for periods at a time just to avoid lonely nights and an alcohol dependency, come out to play!

There is no justification to still keep contact with these individuals as it obviously has lead nowhere, but for some strange reason, we keep these guys on file, as emergency contacts if you will. Some you even speak to so often, you affectionately refer to them as “text message boyfriends”. Text message boyfriends are the bees knees, they fulfill those instant urges to tell someone about the twit with an “A” that gives you a hard time at your job, as if they care, and without any of the drama and commitment. If you want to get technical, I have been dating several individuals for many years already. Only problem is when someone asks if your seeing anyone, the only truthful response is “I’m kinda seeing everyone.”

Another problem with these nomads is their periodical visits in an out of your life. You can be speaking daily to someone and then, abra cadabra , Houdini’s disappearing act! I, like Miranda (SATC reference), pretend they died to save myself from emotional rejection and wracking my brain over an explanation that I will never get.

Months pass and BOOM! Summer is winding down, the air is cooling, and just like clock work, everyone is looking to cuddle. Cuddling…HA, to quote my best friend, “all fun and games till someone’s arm goes numb,” but that is another subject entirely. Anyway, daylight savings approaches the holiday season, so it all goes hand in hand. Now only two things can happen around the holidays, people get engaged/reaffirm their relationships, or the “poop or get off the pot” mentality kicks in and people need to decide whether or not they are saving money on a gift this year.

That is where “we” come back into the picture. An accidental bump in, or a “hot”, recently uploaded photo of yourself at the office holiday party, is potentially all it takes to remind them we exist again. Text message pop ins, an email chat, even a “like” on Facebook, are sure tell signs that a dude is recently single and ready to mingle. Out of nowhere, emails, messages, phone is just straight blowing up, and now your too cold to even care. I don’t think Walt Disney knew about this daylight savings routine when plotting to teach us about the circle of life….Oh well, till Spring!