No Really, Why Are You Single?

Why/How are you single?

The awkward question that people always seem to ask singles… meant to be complimentary and one would think rhetorical, until the awkward pause comes. People really expect an answer. I usually give it to them with some form of sarcasm (which may play into why I actually am single).  As a single girl, this question, however it is meant, really burns my toast. Those words, with that inflection, implies that all good traits are only to be perceived as an attempt to attract a mate, but it also makes you reflect what is wrong within yourself  and you end up questioning why you have not yet been rewarded with love or companionship.

I despise the question.  It forces you to look for a negative focus, instead of embracing or commending someone for their character because they do not have someone to share it with. No matter what answer I come up with as a response, everyone’s belief still boils down to it being an excuse and wondering what my real “issue“ is. I invested a lot of time in my education, career, family, maintaining unbreakable bonds with many different friends and individuals, I have an amazingly fun social life, and it all seems to go out the window when someone relentlessly places value elsewhere.

I feel like every first date I have ever been on, it is not complete until the guy has asked me that question. As I stare blankly, it takes every fiber of my being to not bite back, “ Well…, how are you…? Are you secretly a douche? Riddle me that? ” Don’t worry, I don’t. Those are just my inner thought bubbles that I try and pop before my mouth opens. Sometimes I even do this awkward giggle in hopes to navigate around the question and change the subject immediately.

“Ummm, IDK, no one likes me???”
What about, plain and simple, I legit just don’t have the time. (And when I say that, I understand that I basically mean I just haven’t been captured by anyone enough to make time.) Between busy schedules, daily routines, the last thing I want to do is come home and primp myself up for dates or take more time out of my day to travel to go see someone. I want to come home, maybe go to the gym, cook myself dinner, and plop down for some quality time with my man, Andy Cohen. Ya’ll feel me?

Trust me, I date, and I am no bitter beaver about being single right now. I think it is perfect for where I am in my life and I know one day I will be in a different space ready to dive in full throttle…
So if you are feeling ballsy, next time someone asks you, “ Why are you single? ”, just ask them “ Why are you not enough for yourself? ” Then, immediately follow it up with…“OMG, I’m just kidding!” (because that is a pretty big wise-ass move).